When Too Much is Not Enough
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
It's that time of year again, when children are excitedly waiting to open their gifts, and parents are eager to get a few days off of work.
I have to admit I have gone a little crazy buying gifts for my granddaughters - just as I used to with my own kids - it's a sickness. When I'm shopping, all I can think of is the smiles on their faces and the joy I feel believing that I somehow succeeded in making them happy. But what I loose sight of is all of the other ways that happiness can be brought into their lives.
Intellectually I understand that real, lasting happiness comes with memories of time spent together, enjoying each other's company and creating family traditions. I realize that my kids, now adults, have fewer memories of what they got for Christmas than they have of family outings and moments when they felt loved and appreciated. So I'm not sure why it is still so easy to get back on that gift buying band wagon.
Perhaps it is our culture of materialism and commercialization. Maybe I'm making sure that they never have to feel disappointed or have their expectations dashed. But truly, I know that it is really about me. I'm buying them gifts to make me feel momentarily happy. But the holiday season isn't supposed to be all about me.
It's too late for me this year. After all we have already rented a U-haul to pack all the gifts from here to my granddaughter's house. So perhaps I should make this my New Years Resolution - "I will honor myself and my family by being less selfish and paying more attention to the quality and quantity of time that we have together." I will put my priorities in order and remember that material gifts will eventually fade and break apart. But families can be together forever, as long as we make a constant effort to bind them together with love instead of with stuff.
I have to admit I have gone a little crazy buying gifts for my granddaughters - just as I used to with my own kids - it's a sickness. When I'm shopping, all I can think of is the smiles on their faces and the joy I feel believing that I somehow succeeded in making them happy. But what I loose sight of is all of the other ways that happiness can be brought into their lives.
Intellectually I understand that real, lasting happiness comes with memories of time spent together, enjoying each other's company and creating family traditions. I realize that my kids, now adults, have fewer memories of what they got for Christmas than they have of family outings and moments when they felt loved and appreciated. So I'm not sure why it is still so easy to get back on that gift buying band wagon.
Perhaps it is our culture of materialism and commercialization. Maybe I'm making sure that they never have to feel disappointed or have their expectations dashed. But truly, I know that it is really about me. I'm buying them gifts to make me feel momentarily happy. But the holiday season isn't supposed to be all about me.
It's too late for me this year. After all we have already rented a U-haul to pack all the gifts from here to my granddaughter's house. So perhaps I should make this my New Years Resolution - "I will honor myself and my family by being less selfish and paying more attention to the quality and quantity of time that we have together." I will put my priorities in order and remember that material gifts will eventually fade and break apart. But families can be together forever, as long as we make a constant effort to bind them together with love instead of with stuff.