Discipline Without Violence
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
I remember back in the 70's and 80's it was not uncommon to see parents yelling at or abusing their children in public. I thought about this the other day when it occurred to me that it had been years since I had confronted one of those parents. So I'm thinking that either parents today are more savvy about child rearing or they have learned to keep it indoors. Overall, I'd like to believe the former.
Most parents have their child's best interest at heart. Of course there will always be those who have unresolved anger stemming from their own violent childhood and their lack of discipline as an adult. Overall I think parents today are more enlightened than they were in the 70's.
Although parents seem to be better educated these days about the negative consequences that accompany negative reinforcement, there still are those who hold onto their belief that hitting, spanking a child, is the best way to get their attention or to make a point. Their misguided belief is often connected to their own childhood and the fact that they were hit by their parents. Children live what they learn and if they learn that spanking is an acceptable form of violence and it is the best way to discipline they they will continue to believe that as an adult.
I don't buy the argument that "I was hit and I turned out OK." In fact you didn't turn out OK. You were never taught how to parent without violence and that is not OK. If your parents had disciplined you effectively without violence you would in fact find it perplexing that anyone could hold onto such a misinformed belief that spanking was the right way to teach a child.
Discipline that teaches the child how to reason and make correct choices in life involves patience, self-discipline and time. It requires the parent to actively participate in the learning process with the child and it requires that a parent be willing to set aside their selfish desires and attend to the problem at hand.
Parenting without violence produces children, and later adults, who do not have a propensity for violence themselves. They tend to grow into people who understand the difference between right and wrong - not because someone beat them into submission but because they were given the skills early on that enables them to take on life's drama with courage and self confidence.
If you have difficulty figuring out how to parent without violence, get yourself to a library and start reading up on healthy alternatives to disciplining your children. You will be glad you did.
Most parents have their child's best interest at heart. Of course there will always be those who have unresolved anger stemming from their own violent childhood and their lack of discipline as an adult. Overall I think parents today are more enlightened than they were in the 70's.
Although parents seem to be better educated these days about the negative consequences that accompany negative reinforcement, there still are those who hold onto their belief that hitting, spanking a child, is the best way to get their attention or to make a point. Their misguided belief is often connected to their own childhood and the fact that they were hit by their parents. Children live what they learn and if they learn that spanking is an acceptable form of violence and it is the best way to discipline they they will continue to believe that as an adult.
I don't buy the argument that "I was hit and I turned out OK." In fact you didn't turn out OK. You were never taught how to parent without violence and that is not OK. If your parents had disciplined you effectively without violence you would in fact find it perplexing that anyone could hold onto such a misinformed belief that spanking was the right way to teach a child.
Discipline that teaches the child how to reason and make correct choices in life involves patience, self-discipline and time. It requires the parent to actively participate in the learning process with the child and it requires that a parent be willing to set aside their selfish desires and attend to the problem at hand.
Parenting without violence produces children, and later adults, who do not have a propensity for violence themselves. They tend to grow into people who understand the difference between right and wrong - not because someone beat them into submission but because they were given the skills early on that enables them to take on life's drama with courage and self confidence.
If you have difficulty figuring out how to parent without violence, get yourself to a library and start reading up on healthy alternatives to disciplining your children. You will be glad you did.
Labels: abuse, discipline, parenting, spanking, violence
1 Comments:
Actually in the original Hebrew text the word for rod, in this verse, correlates to the "rod of The Mouth of God" which is how they referenced the word of God. Speaking God's name in public was a near-sin and so they had many other ways to reference Him such as is shown in this verse. There are many other meanings to the word rod in the Old Testament, but the one used in this verse clearly comes from one that refers to the word of God. Consequently, if you do not teach your children the Word of God, they will be spoiled by the world and they will be be at risk of developing spoiled or rotten souls.
commented by 
Karen Dougherty, 10:37 PM
Karen Dougherty, 10:37 PM