Jodi Foster, Single Moms and Fatherless Children
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
I recently read an article - an interview - with Jodi Foster that really grabbed my attention. Now a mother of 2 boys, Ms. Foster and her female companion are raising the boys much like Jodi herself was raised after her parent's divorced (before her birth) and her mother took in her female lover. That isn't what grabbed me.
What really struck me was that in the beginning of the interview she vehemently advocated raising children in a fatherless home. She said, "I don't think a father is necessary to raising a happy, healthy baby." But several paragraphs later she seemed to forget her proclamation when she began to talk about her unhappy childhood without a father. She admits that she is "still haunted by a sense of loss caused by my father's absence. I always say I keep making the same movies over and over again (in an attempt to resolve my pain). It's a long emotional journey to be able to let go and say goodbye."
From a psychological standpoint the article was very interesting. I'm not attempting to bash Jodi Foster here however. In fact this story could apply to a great many Hollywood "moms" out there. But I am struck with the ease with which people are so willing to rationalize the choices they make for their own children without putting 2 and 2 together to see just how much pain they have suffered because their parent made those same choices.
The fact is that children who are raised in a loving home with both a mother and a father are far more likely to grow up to be happy, whole individuals far more often than children who are not raised in a nuclear family. This is not just a matter of personal opinion. Hundreds of proper studies and eons of time have confirmed this as a fact, regardless of the culture or economic status of the family.
Men are far more than sperm donors. They balance us out. They offer our children something that no woman can give. A woman cannot teach a boy how to become a man any more than a man can empathize with a woman about childbirth.
So if we are going to embrace a culture of fatherless children, perhaps we should prepare ourselves and society for the fall-out. All choices have consequences. Let's not make our children suffer for ours.
What really struck me was that in the beginning of the interview she vehemently advocated raising children in a fatherless home. She said, "I don't think a father is necessary to raising a happy, healthy baby." But several paragraphs later she seemed to forget her proclamation when she began to talk about her unhappy childhood without a father. She admits that she is "still haunted by a sense of loss caused by my father's absence. I always say I keep making the same movies over and over again (in an attempt to resolve my pain). It's a long emotional journey to be able to let go and say goodbye."
From a psychological standpoint the article was very interesting. I'm not attempting to bash Jodi Foster here however. In fact this story could apply to a great many Hollywood "moms" out there. But I am struck with the ease with which people are so willing to rationalize the choices they make for their own children without putting 2 and 2 together to see just how much pain they have suffered because their parent made those same choices.
The fact is that children who are raised in a loving home with both a mother and a father are far more likely to grow up to be happy, whole individuals far more often than children who are not raised in a nuclear family. This is not just a matter of personal opinion. Hundreds of proper studies and eons of time have confirmed this as a fact, regardless of the culture or economic status of the family.
Men are far more than sperm donors. They balance us out. They offer our children something that no woman can give. A woman cannot teach a boy how to become a man any more than a man can empathize with a woman about childbirth.
So if we are going to embrace a culture of fatherless children, perhaps we should prepare ourselves and society for the fall-out. All choices have consequences. Let's not make our children suffer for ours.
Labels: children, dads, family, Fathers, gay, Jodi Foster, kids, learning, parenting, self esteem, self worth, single mothers