Shoplifting, Making it a One-Time Crime
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
I was about 5 when I decided that the 6" candy bar in the check out isle should be mine. Somehow I knew that my mom wouldn't buy it for me so I stuffed it under my shirt. "That was easy," I thought. So I stuffed another one and then a third. I looked down at my shirt to see if my crime was obvious. It was, but I told myself that no one seemed to notice so it must be OK.
When my mom went to pay for her groceries, she told the cashier to charge her for 3 candy bars. I was momentarily confused until she looked at me and told me to take them out from under my shirt. I had been caught. She made me apologize to the clerk who told me that I should never do that again - and I didn't.
About 75 percent of children attempt to shoplift at least once in their formative years. But it is largely the reactions of their parents that determine whether or not they will attempt a repeat performance.
Parents who ignore the behavior, or who openly find it amusing only encourage the child to continue to feel entitled to anything s/he sees. The lesson of honesty and respecting what belongs to other's is not learned. On the other hand, if the parent makes the child take responsibility for their misbehavior by apologizing to a store manager, the child is much less likely to steal again.
After apologizing the child should either pay for the stolen item or work off the appropriate amount of money with chores. However it is never appropriate to give the child the stolen item, even after they have made restitution. Doing so would only reward the child for their crime.
When my mom went to pay for her groceries, she told the cashier to charge her for 3 candy bars. I was momentarily confused until she looked at me and told me to take them out from under my shirt. I had been caught. She made me apologize to the clerk who told me that I should never do that again - and I didn't.
About 75 percent of children attempt to shoplift at least once in their formative years. But it is largely the reactions of their parents that determine whether or not they will attempt a repeat performance.
Parents who ignore the behavior, or who openly find it amusing only encourage the child to continue to feel entitled to anything s/he sees. The lesson of honesty and respecting what belongs to other's is not learned. On the other hand, if the parent makes the child take responsibility for their misbehavior by apologizing to a store manager, the child is much less likely to steal again.
After apologizing the child should either pay for the stolen item or work off the appropriate amount of money with chores. However it is never appropriate to give the child the stolen item, even after they have made restitution. Doing so would only reward the child for their crime.
Labels: children, communication, discipline, family, kids, learning, parenting, shop lifting, stealing