NO! Teaching Your Toddler to Communicate
Sunday, April 15, 2007
It seems to be an American milestone when your toddler learns to use the word no. Once your toddler learns that yelling the word "NO" gets a reaction out of you, your life with a defiant toddler will become a daily challenge.
The best thing to do is to limit your own use of the word no starting when your child is still non-verbal. Parent's often use "no" as an all-inclusive admission of panic. The intensified emotion is quickly picked up by the child and will soon be used as a powerful way to communicate nearly every emotion. There is a better way.
Helping your child learn how to use vocabulary to accurately express himself will not only make his communications clearer, but it is likely to increase his vocabulary as well as his I.Q.
When your child attempts to indulge in an unacceptable behavior use a situation-specific word to describe your discontent. For instance, when your child reaches for a glass vase, instead of yelling "NO" say "STOP! Break! Cut!" As you lift your toddler away from the danger use vocabulary he can understand to help him understand that the vase can fall, break and eventually even cause him harm.
When you use the word "no" as a command for everything the child does, the child learns only that it is OK to yell - or curse - whenever someone wants to exert power over someone else. No becomes a curse word instead of an intelligent and specific communication. Using a word like "stop" is more accurate and when your child begins to speak he will understand that "no" is a word used to express a negative sentiment and that "stop" is a command.
Learning to communicate is difficult enough, let's give our children a healthy start and perhaps they will grow up confidant in self expression.
The best thing to do is to limit your own use of the word no starting when your child is still non-verbal. Parent's often use "no" as an all-inclusive admission of panic. The intensified emotion is quickly picked up by the child and will soon be used as a powerful way to communicate nearly every emotion. There is a better way.
Helping your child learn how to use vocabulary to accurately express himself will not only make his communications clearer, but it is likely to increase his vocabulary as well as his I.Q.
When your child attempts to indulge in an unacceptable behavior use a situation-specific word to describe your discontent. For instance, when your child reaches for a glass vase, instead of yelling "NO" say "STOP! Break! Cut!" As you lift your toddler away from the danger use vocabulary he can understand to help him understand that the vase can fall, break and eventually even cause him harm.
When you use the word "no" as a command for everything the child does, the child learns only that it is OK to yell - or curse - whenever someone wants to exert power over someone else. No becomes a curse word instead of an intelligent and specific communication. Using a word like "stop" is more accurate and when your child begins to speak he will understand that "no" is a word used to express a negative sentiment and that "stop" is a command.
Learning to communicate is difficult enough, let's give our children a healthy start and perhaps they will grow up confidant in self expression.