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Parenting - The Owners Manual

Tips and information for parenting kids aged 0-12. See Thursdays Blog for Parenting Teens.

Dealing With Your Child's Shyness

Monday, February 26, 2007

Why do some children seem naturally social while others seem fearful and shy? The answer could be in your child's genes. Research has shown that infants who display a high frequency of motor activity and negative affect at 4 months of age are likely to become behaviorally inhibited toddlers.

This research has shown that testing an infants saliva at age 4 months can determine if the child has a predisposition for shyness. Infants with an increased amount of cortisol were shown to be more fearful and shy in social situations at age 4 than those who did not show increased levels of cortisol as infants.

However, this study doesn't rule out nurture as an explanation for shyness in children. Other studies have shown that parents can increase their child's level of shyness by nurturing that behavior. "Some parents, by labeling their children as shy, appear to encourage a self- fulfilling prophecy, Adults may cajole coyly shy children into social interaction, thus reinforcing shy behavior (Zimbardo and Radl, 1981)."

So if your Toddler begins to show signs of fearfulness in social situations don't be too quick to try to correct their behavior - they may just be programmed that way, and forcing them into fearful interactions only reinforces the anti-social behavior. As with most parenting dilemmas, the more you push, the more they recoil. Let them figure the world out in their own way and both of you will be happier for it.
posted by Karen Dougherty, 11:50 PM

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