Parenting - The Owners Manual

A group of childcare and child psychology experts expressed their concerns in a letter to the Daily Telegraph. They raise doubts over whether children under three-years-old should ever be looked after by anyone other than close family members, urging for an 'urgent national debate' to be held.

'Consistent, continuous care by a trusted figure is the key to providing a secure and nurturing environment for very young children. Its absence can lead to behavioral difficulties and may even fuel mental illness. The experts in the study agree that parents are putting their children in circumstances that 'may not be appropriate to their emotional needs'.

'In a society which encourages both parents to work outside the home while their children are under three, it is attachment-focused childcare arrangements that have a crucial role to play in facilitating healthy emotional development,' Sir Richard writes in a report attached to the letter.

It has long been understood that children in Day Care become ill with colds, flu and communicable disease 5 times more frequently than home based children; but recent studies indicate that the stress of being left on a daily basis may be a contributing factor. Children's immune systems have been shown to be stronger when they are consistently in a stress reduced environment. And Day Care is anything but stress free. Between the emotional neglect and the continual crying by other children, the stress levels can be soaring.

So what is a parent to do? If you must leave your child during the day on a regular basis,

• Find a close relative to watch the child.
• If that isn't possible, use a home based care provider who is licensed
  
• Visit without notice on a regular basis to make sure that all the children are being cared for in an appropriate manner.
• Check for appropriate licensing of all individuals that will be caring for your child

• Call the BBB to see if there have been any complaints against this provider
  
• Do a background check for all employees
• Do not leave the child there longer than needed - don't use the opportunity to run errands or go to the bar after work. Your child needs as much time with you as possible.
• Call your child during the day to say hi and let them know when you will be coming
  
• Find a way to work from home as often as possible

It was once vogue to profess that a woman in America could have a full time job and be a sufficient part time parent. The long range studies and the 'adult children of working mom's' have shown otherwise. Ask any child if they would rather watch their mother advance in her influential career or have her at home with them and the answers will be unanimous - children want to be raised by their parents. Not even the best care providers can replace a loving parent in a child's eyes.